The "I KNOW" Monster Stole My Kid.
The "I KNOW" Monster Stole My Kid.
The “I KNOW” monster has reared its ugly head today in our home. Yes ... it finally has made its way here and we cannot get rid of it! The “I KNOW” monster has stolen my kid!
See People!
You know the “I KNOW” monster, because ...well ...I know you do. We all do. It grabs us while we are sleeping, usually about the time we turn thirteen and does not let go of that tight grip on us until we realize that we DON’T know everything. And of course you KNOW that can take years!
In the meantime, frustrated parents try to explain how to do this or that and all they hear is “I KNOW” which will drive most adults nuts. It is how my parents got grey hair. Why? Because we know that they don’t know everything. We have been there ... remember?
One of our sons wanted to make spaghetti tonight for dinner, but when we tried to explain why you put the sauce in with the meat to simmer he insisted that we must boil the pasta in the sauce. Never mind that he has eaten it the way I have cooked it for all thirteen years of his life and watched me make it numerous times, but all we heard was, “I KNOW! I know how to do this so let me do it!”
Well ... if it was how to make a bed or scrub a toilet I don’t think I would have objected, but this was our family’s dinner we are talking about. So what did we do? We let him do it his way.
It was gross. It was a goppy, gooey mess and the meat was hard and chewy but he insisted during the entire meal that it was “the best spaghetti he’d ever eaten” and tried to get all of us to agree with him. Nobody did and that just made the monster more upset. My husband and I just looked at each other.
Later crawling into bed, I turned to my husband and said, “The ‘I KNOW’ monster is here. We weren’t ready for it yet but it is here and we have to put up with it until it grows up.”
All he could say was, “I know, I know, I KNOW! Remember back when we had it? That sucked.”
Yes I know.
Fendi
Ben Sherman
12 Comments
Post a CommentBrilliant blog! I swear! Some neewspaper would kill for these gems!
BTW, my daughter used to make French Fries when she came home from school. She would get out the frozen fries and then fill the iron skillet with peanut oil...dump the fries into the cold oil and then turn on the heat!! I finally had to stop her because the smell when I walked in would nauseate me so badly....but she KNEW how to do it!
i'm not completely there yet with my son even though at almost 3 he is showing a stong stubborness and love for defiance,he still think that he is the king of the world and that he knows mostly everything....
the "I KNOW" monster is a tough one to handle, it took me over at about the same age it is now taking over your son. Fortunately, it had other kids it wanted to get to know, so it left me alone after a while.
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The man who speaks to you of sacrifice, speaks of slaves and masters. And intends to be the master.
I came up with a fabulous retort for this "I KNOW" thing and I am going to share it because it stopped my kids in their tracks and slapped a look of shock on their faces...
Me: Now you need to make sure that you separate your clothes by color because...(interrupted by the I KNOW monster)
Son: I KNOW! Gosh Mom you act like I have never done laundry before.
Me: But this is important...(again interrupted by the I KNOW monster)
Son: I KNOW this already! Just let me do it! I know what I am doing!
Me: OKAY---since YOU KNOW that I am right you shouldn't have any problem listening to me right now to make sure I haven't forgotten something!
....Son was speechless....
Me: You know that really cool T-shirt you just bought? If you wash it with the rest of your clothes the color will bleed onto the rest of your stuff. Do you really want to ruin ALL your clothes?
Son: Oh...I didn't know that could happen.
Me: DUH...see you don't "know" everything.
cheeky thank you for my morning laugh
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"I will marshal all the forces of darkness to hound you to an assisted suicide." - In the Loop
Can I market a spray to get rid of the "I KNOW" monster?
....Criminey--someone already invented "silly string"
how about just using a squirt gun filled with Hawaiian Punch?
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"I will marshal all the forces of darkness to hound you to an assisted suicide." - In the Loop
Good one! I like the way you think. (wondering if the kid "knows" how to remove hawaiian punch stains)
like all food that has fallen on clothes above the waist, curse and then try to suck it off.
below the waist: wipe and pretend it came with the stains.
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"I will marshal all the forces of darkness to hound you to an assisted suicide." - In the Loop
My kids have been a little spoiled. Stains up until recently were "my job" but now that they are all old enough to be trusted with some household chemicals---they are doing their own laundry.
They are learning sometimes the hard way about the real price of stains---and not listening to me. That "I KNOW" monster has cost each of them a prized item when they did the laundry "their way" and these prized items are things they had to buy for themselves.
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